Cake!
by Black.Polka.Dots
Summary: Violet and Klaus bake a fail of a cake. Rated K plus for cake stabbing.


**Remember in the books when it was mentioned Violet and Klaus tried to make toast but burned it? Well, what if they tried to make cake? :D Set when the Baudelaire mansion was still up, only about 1 year before, Violet 13 and Klaus 11.**

**Disclaimer: ASOUE is not mine. But I do own a cookbook.**

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It was another day at the Baudelaire mansion. Violet and Klaus were bored. Violet just finished a new invention, and didn't have any ideas on what to make next. Inventor's block, you could call it. Klaus was bored because the Baudelaire parents were adding more space to the library, therefore it was covered in plaster and tarp and generally unlivable. That meant that he had NO chance of sneaking in and getting a book. So they just wandered aimlessly around the mansion. That is, until Klaus finally found a book. It was indeed a cookbook, and since it was the only entertainment they had, they both sat down to read it.

"What if we bake something, instead of just reading about it?" Violet suggested. Klaus smiled.

"How about that one?" he asked, pointing to a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting. That's just where the disasters begin.

The first problem started with simply gathering the ingredients. They had none of the items, so they had to beg to go to the grocery store. At the grocery store, Klaus squinted at the paper. "Violet? It says you need 21 and a half cups of cream for the frosting."

Violet peered over at the book. "Uhh, I guess so.." she replied uncertainly. It clearly had a large twenty-one and a half on the paper. They ended up buying two giant cartons of cream, just in case.

When they got home, Violet started making the cake batter and Klaus made the frosting.

"This seems like an awful lot of cream." Klaus said hesitantly as his hand holding the cream carton hovered dangerously above the bowl. Violet shrugged as she fumbled with the hand mixer. Even though she was skilled enough to take it apart and reattach again perfectly, she wasn't 100% sure on how to work the thing. She struggled to turn it on.

"Aha!" she cried, flipping a switch. The whisks started to spin rapidly. Violet placed the whirring blades in the bowl of ingredients. She shrieked with surprise as the contents of the bowl started flying out. Klaus, in his surprise at both the shriek and mixer, accidentally spilled most of the cream he was about to pour into the bowl. Violet immediately jerked her arm away from the bowl and started pressing the on/off button over and over.

"WHY WON'T YOU TURN OFF?" she screamed at the mixer, as it kept whirring and spraying goo everywhere. Klaus ran over and unplugged the mixer. The loud, annoying (though sometimes handy) contraption finally stopped. They both groaned and slumped into some chairs for a break. "We were just baking for 10 minutes and I'm already tired." Klaus complained. Violet nodded. "We're definitely mixing by hand from now on." she resolved.

After taking a short break, they went back to their baking. They did a bit better, you could almost see the counter if you wiped off some of the goo. After baking 30 minutes like the instructions said, Violet got out the oven mitts and took it out. It looked okay, but when she picked it up, she could feel water sloshing around in the frowned and poked it with a knife.

"Its.. water-y?" she asked/stated, confused. "Did you add water?" Klaus asked, poking it with the knife Violet handed him. Violet smiled sheepishly. "Just a LITTLE bit! It was so thick, I could barely mix it.." she explained. "We might as well bake it some more." Klaus remarked, so they popped it back in for 10 minutes. It was still watery, but the sides had hardened a bit. The whole poke-and-check thing lasted for nearly an hour, they stopped when just the center was gooey.

"Okay, I'm getting tired of this!" Klaus exclaimed. "Let's just put the icing on already!" So they did. Unfortunately, the icing was about as watery as the cake. "Klaus, did you add more that 21 cups of cream to the icing?" Violet asked. "Noo.." Klaus said slowly, "Actually, I added even less because I spilled most of it on the floor." So they ended up pouring most of the icing on top of the already soggy cake.

"Maybe its supposed to be watery?" Klaus wondered. "After all, you DID say the mix was really thick before you added the water. Maybe the cake was supposed to be really hard, and the icing was supposed to be watery."

They cut 5 pieces anyway, and went to find their parents and Sunny. "I don't think Sunny will like the cake, though. Its the complete opposite of hard." Violet remarked as they headed down the hallway. "She'll at least try it, hopefully." Klaus replied, trying to hold 3 plates of watery cake. Not only was it watery, but it had burned at bit too. How can something be undercooked and overcooked at the same time? he wondered.

"Hello!" they announced as they came into the room. "How did your cake-baking go?" Mr. Baudelaire asked pleasantly. Violet and Klaus exchanged glances. "Fine."

"I heard screaming. Were you two okay?" Mrs. Baudelaire asked, a bit worried. "Screaming with...excitement, of course!" Violet smiled nervously.

By then, Sunny had tried some of her cake. "ufeufuhfe!"she exclaimed frankly. It meant something like, "Ew! This is disgusting and not to mention soft!"

Violet glared at her but tried some of hers to see if it was really that bad. It was. Violet scrunched up he nose. It kinda tasted like eggs. She picked out a yellow blob. "I guess I didn't mix too well." she admitted sheepishly. It was sort of rubbery, too. Ick. It didn't taste anything like vanilla.

"Could I see that recipe book of yours, Klaus?" Mrs. Baudelaire asked. He ran to get the flipped through it. "It says two and a half cups of cream for the icing." she told him. "Oh." he remarked. "But it clearly had the large 1 next to the 2!"

So, as it turned out, no one really ate the cake.

**FEW HOURS LATER~**

"Violet, do we still have the cake?" Klaus asked. "Err.. yes. Why?" Violet asked, confused. Klaus shrugged. "I thought it would be fun to stab it with a knife." A big grin started to spread across Violet's face. "You know, I think I'll join you."

So the two spent the rest of the afternoon stabbing the cake.

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**That's actually a true story. I'm a terrible baker, but I insist on baking anyway.**


End file.
